you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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