I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
