When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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