My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
