In the future we'll all be gay
Screwed.edu
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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