I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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