But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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