4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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