I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
