its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
