The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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