I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
