hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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