the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
