I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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