He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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