Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
