My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
