hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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