I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
