Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
