you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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