I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
