is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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