what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
