I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize