Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
