You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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