her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
