it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Randomize
