i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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