I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
