everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
