Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
