Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
