youre lurking in front of me
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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