Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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