Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ketchup is God's man juice
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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