I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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