Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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