I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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