she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
