Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize