STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
