actually, I'm a sock model
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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