I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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