the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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