That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
