whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
