the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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