its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
