She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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