It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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