I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just high enough for therapy.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
