And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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