also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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