I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
