I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
