This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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