Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
