$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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